Gnawing
by SomecallmeMichelle
Summary: It gnawed at her, like a spine stuck in her throat, or a bad heartburn, Kris didn't know why, but that boy, Silver, was constantly in her mind...


The boy could be quite the nuisance when he wanted. - Kris figured. But then it seemed that the wild stubbornness, the refusal to give up, the determination that shot through the roof, were all characteristics of a good Pokémon trainer. Even if - And at this she sighed. - He didn't really understand the value of friendship between Pokémon and Trainer.

As Professor Oak had told her, some used Pokémon for battle, that was the truth, yes, but they were much more than that, they were pets, they were friends, to some they were their whole life's dedication and professional careers (the two Pokémon professors she had met were living proof of that, though they studied different areas, and she couldn't exactly figure out, who, exactly was funding their research), they weren't tools, or something to make you stronger, and more powerful so you could rule over others. - At least she didn't think so.

 _I'm starting to sound like an aesop_. - She thought, considering that a bad sign. She couldn't however, stop herself from thinking that way. She had figured it out soon enough, after starting her journey, and she hadn't appreciated the lecture when she was about to start. Something about this being blindingly obvious to her, she just rolled her eyes, and that had been before the Professor had asked her for her name and gender (yes, like it wasn't plainly obvious, she knew she wasn't exactly Lass material, but that stung).

She was however considering that maybe the boy, what was his name - Silver? Something like that, could have used the lecture, annoying as it might have been. Of course the most likely course of action would be that he would have scoffed and gone away, ready to mess up things another day, but that was a chance (or an almost certainty), that was worth taking. Maybe, if Kris couldn't get into his head, with that message, the Professor could, though probably not.

If anything the various encounters with the boy with the red hair, the one who she had at first mistaken for a girl, before he had spoken, with was quite obviously a male voice, and only to chide her, yes, those encounters, had given her a better appreciation for all her Pokémon (or, at least, the six she carried with her, she didn't have much time for the other hundreds she had, hey, filling a Pokédex was hard!)

It was about time to set up camp, she figured, half surprised at the darkening sky. It seemed her thoughts had filled her mind with such strength that she hadn't even been aware of the time that had passed. But this was a good position to be in, all things considered, stuck right at the dead end of a Route, somewhere, in Jotho, ready to take out another gym leader in time...this seemed like the appropriate spot. Far away from tall grass to probably avoid a wild battle, yet not quite on the road, in case she fell asleep for too many hours, and a trainer found it within their right to collide with her sleeping body (it had happened, twice in fact), in a spot where she could see the stars, that went as far away as Alola, and further, to all the Regions she might, or might not, know. There were so many she was unaware of...so many Pokémon...she doubted she'd even get to visit Kanto, much less any of those regions.

She released her Pokémon from their containing devices, the ones where she had caught them and where she kept them when not in need of them.

They chirped, roared and called out their names, glad to have been let out. Usually Kris let them out to sleep outside. Both for protection (there was little that was more persuading to privacy than a Cronocaw and other Pokémon standing guard while she slept), and for the simple fact that they enjoyed the cold night air, and the stars, perhaps as much as she did. There was an air of intelligence in all of their eyes, and a tiny, thin smile on what could pass for mouths (or actual mouths in some cases, well, it varied) that told her so. Even if she was not capable of fully communicate her thoughts with them, she could but give orders and have them execute the (presumably memorized) attacks.

But she knew in her heart, in a feeling brought upon by emotion, that there was something more to them.

Which, maybe was why her mind was stuck on the boy that annoyed her so. He just didn't treat his Pokémon with respect. Yeah, that ought to be it. She could see the love that his Bayleef had to give him, and he just didn't care to treat the Pokémon with respect, it got to be annoying. Why she betted that the Golbat he had would never become a Crobat, what with the way he treated the poor creature. It was truly a case of arrogance, where the boy couldn't do anything right even if he tried, and yet he was sure that he was the very best, like no one had ever been. No wonder, then, that he lost!

She mumbled unheard things, uncomfortable as she was, as she put the sleeping bag on the floor, making sure there weren't any rocks or debris in the spot where she placed herself. She'd have liked to change clothes, but there was not really a chance, not in the middle of the wilderness. Her cheeks tinted red as she thought of it, no, she had long since understood that walking around with the same sweaty clothes until she arrived at a city or town was what she must do. After all who knew what lurked in the shadows?

But those weren't the only thoughts permeating her mind, embarrassing as they might be. A very big part of her still hung up on the Silver issue. That boy, that prat, that annoying little jerk had gotten to her, and no matter what she did to try and keep her mind from wandering into his image, she couldn't help it.

It was just.. - She dived deeper into her sleeping bag thankful for the increased heat, and the warmth inside of it. - He looked so lost. Like a kicked puppy, he tried to act tough, but his bite had no bark. It was actually sort of funny.

All those she had been challenged by the boy? Well, she'd laugh and enjoy the battle, while he just sort of stumbled his way through it. Sure he was somehow a capable trainer, and if Kris hadn't been so in tune with her Pokémon and the way they thought and fought, she might have even lost. But then...that was all to him, the "I'm going to beat you, I'm going to be the best", it spoke to her.

It annoyed her greatly, that much was true, but it also made her wonder. Wonder about how he had grown up, wonder about how he had gotten in that mentality...It was honestly kind of sick. She had always been told by others, in New Bark Town, that she'd find something to love even in the ugliest of people.

Maybe they were right, maybe it was small town mentality. She'd known all her neighbours and while she heard of crime in bigger towns, it all seemed so far away. In her little corner of the world, she didn't think it would come near her.

But then she had started her journey and not a few hours into it, she had bumped into him...later she would learn he had stolen a Pokémon from her neighbour, Professor Elm, it seemed that crime was closer than she thought.

And yet, despite knowing that he was a troublemaker, a thief and a nuisance...she felt sorry for him. She was sure that if she were to tell him the truth, that she felt sorry for him, he'd scoff at her and ask her why for, after all he was certainly a much better trainer than her (despite all the loses, those didn't count he would swear), and he wasn't bogged down by things such as _feelings_ or _caring for his pokémon_. She swore, she could practically hear his voice in her head.

"Naw?" It was her Croconaw, which had started the journey with her as a Totodile, and had evolved, that gnawed at her feet, leaving little marks on the sleeping bag. No matter how many times she tried to tell him that that wasn't a good behavior to have. Well everyone (and their Pokémon) had their vices. This was just the one her faithful companion.

And that was what the boy was doíng to her, he was gnawing at her insides, tearing into her stomach, making her uncomfortable and tense. He was like a scale or bone that had intruded in her throat, and was blocking her way of air, he was that annoying.

She curled her body into one position, then another. No matter how many times she tried, she had that boy stuck in her mind, and like a charm, that served to remove her sleepiness, but it wasn't a good luck charm, if anything, it was a bad luck charm. Just another proof that he was bad for her.

And yet... _There are no yets_ . she tried telling herself, but that annoyance still stuck to her, like dirt and sweat stuck onto her clothes. What could she even do? It seemed that trying to distance herself from the question, the hypothesis, his childhood, only seemed to make her more aware of the situation, like it pressed itself against her.

She pitied him, true, she felt sorry for him, she despised him too, just a bit, he was a bad influence, but then, there wasn't anything that she could really do. Then why was her mind stuck on him? Like wax to skin, or glue to paper.

Only there weren't any tendrils of glue to peel of her feelings, no satisfying feeling, try as she might, it was stuck, true, but it seemed embedded in it, like a spike.

And maybe spike was the right word for it as it seemed to be craved not only in her mind, but also in her heart. She had heard of heartburn before, but that was generally used to describe someone who was having indigestion.

This was no indigestion, at least none she had heard of. Sure she knew theoretically some berries could be used for more than custom Pokéballs, if grinded and smoked, not that she had ever tried it. But still, she had neither consumed nor smoked any berries. In fact she hadn't even been picking them up, so what gave? Why the aching in her chest?

And it wasn't the weight of one of her Pokémon on top of her, or even her backpack, which she had discarded into a corner, where it was being kept by her Pokémon, no this was something entirely new, and altogether unpleasant.

She wasn't a girl to curse, considering that fairly unproductive, and not really good for helping, she prefered to take the time to try to fix the problem instead of blaming whomever had caused the problem. But this...this wasn't something she could get her hands on and fix. This feeling, this pain, this obsession! It was maddening.

Almost as if sensing her mood her Croconaw stopped biting into the fabric of her sleeping bag, which already had a few tiny puncture marks, and looked at her, the Pokémon couldn't speak, obviously, it was not a person, but Kris could swear she saw something else in the eyes of the Croconaw, something else, confusion, worry? Was he rolling his eyes at her.

But...why? It wasn't as if she had the answer to the question inside of her, had she? Ever since battling Silver...well she had spent a whole lot of time thinking about him, his looks, his sad but defying eyes, how his life might have been before he had comitted the act, it wasn't as if it was…

For the first time since she had learned the word and used it as a child, to feel grownup, Kris swore, she uttered a profanity so bad and she was so crass that even Pokémon looked shocked.

She had to admit. She had a crush on that Silver boy.


End file.
